Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Part Deux

Okay so this is a continuation of the last post so you could read my previous post before you dive into this one. Anyways, I left off after the first surgery where I was in ICU pretty much just hanging out. The first surgery was over and I did not feel too bad. I was actually feeling pretty good considering I had just undergone hours of surgery. The doctor told me that the second surgery would be a little bit more painful because they would be going in my neck through the back. The first surgery went through my throat, and there is not a whole lot of muscle there; so it made sense that it did not really hurt after. But the next surgery, they would have to cut through a lot of muscle and the recovery time would be a bit longer.

So I was just hanging out waiting for my second surgery, and thankfully I had tons of awesome people come to see me. It was great to see people from JMU and friends from home and to hear that they had been praying for my family. It was hard in the hospital because I was in a room where there were always two other people with me. These people changed throughout the week as people would be checked in and dismissed from the hospital, but it was undeniable that many of them were in a lot of pain. There was one guy across from me who had tumors on his brain, he frequently had seizures, and was clearly in pain almost all the time. A hospice service came to take him to his house, and during a conversation I overheard that the man most likely had only 6 months left to live.

So as I am waiting for the second surgery, I am just sitting in the hospital thinking about how blessed I am that I can leave this hospital and eventually go back to a normal life. It's not like I am going to have any life changing differences because of my accident. I mean I am losing 5 % of my neck movement, but that's pretty much it. During this time it was hard to not be consumed by negative thoughts, but I just kept reminding myself that I was going to walk away from this. I was going to be able to run, dance, bike, hop, skip, etc. There were people around me that were not going to be able to.

I also had a lot of people come and visit me which was a huge blessing. I don't think that my spirits would have stayed nearly as high as they were, had I not had tons of visitors. I tend to feed off of the energy of those people around me, so to be able to see vibrancy and people that were doing well was really comforting. I was also extremely comforted knowing that people were praying for me like no one's business. I am still learning tons about prayer, but I think that my accident helped me understand just how strong prayer is and the realness of its power. Our prayers are heard by the God of the universe, that is pretty amazing. I think that should kind of blow our minds every time we pray. It's so humbling. Why me God? Why would you listen to the things that I have to say? You are the God of everything, yet you still hear my prayers even when they are selfish and misguided.

So the second surgery happens and there is a completely different feeling afterwards. Afterwards, I feel like I am wearing a suit or armor all the time. Just so tired all the time. But thankfully the surgery went well and after a couple more days of being in the hospital I was free to go. Those last couple days in the hospital really showed me the need all people have to be loved and to be cared for. I think that care is something that believers should carry into their ministries. People need to be loved and cared for. That's what we are called to do.

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